The Way I Know You Need IT

So, this is an old one - 5 years ago. It was the first time I ever did this. It didn't happen again until recently. A lot has changed in 5 years. I am not even the same person I was back then. I wrote about it on May 12, 2016, but I didn't ever do much with it once it was written. I don't even know if he read it. The he/you I am referring to is my BF, the same one I have now. I wrote this sort of like I was talking to him.

It really is an intense experience - talking to the person that you love, and are intimately connected to about having sex with someone else, actually doing it, and then talking it through in detail afterward (as well as documenting it). It is a rush; it creates a whole new level of connection and trust. That is how I felt after.

05.12.16 - Fat Dick

Usually, I would write in my notebook, but I'm putting it online as you told me to, the exact same way I would use a pen and paper. Don't judge - you aren't used to the way I share things yet.

I've never gone more than 3 days without you, seeing you, touching you, or having you inside me. Having you away has been challenging (to say the least). I've been missing you so much. 13 days feels like a long time.

The first time you told me you wanted me to get some cock (from someone else), I was really, umm, let's say - in shock. In this first conversation - I did not want to. At all. It was way outside of my very narrow way of thinking. You did say - "the way I know you need it." You weren't wrong, however, timing is everything.

When I said no, you thanked me for being honest, but it didn't really go away for you. You wanted it. You meant it. I liked how much it turned you on. It was primal for you and after thinking about it, it piqued my interest, I was starting to feel adventurous.

Six nights later, we were back to it, you were still away. That night I said that "she" was missing you.

As in my pussy. That's seemed to be all it took.

You said, " I wish I knew someone with a big dick; I would have them come and fuck the hell out of you."

On your orders.

To "exhaust my pussy, hard and vicious."

The way "I know you need it."

Then it became my job because you don't want me going without. Ever.

"Go find a fat dick. I want you to be my little slut. Make me proud".

"Perfect little slut. Getting what she needs. On my command".

The next morning I asked someone.

I don't even know how I did it.

"Will you come and fuck me? Please?" It took me almost 5 minutes to hit send. But I did because you wanted me to. I had to please you.

Even though I know he wanted to fuck me (because he had told me before, repeatedly), I didn't think he would say yes.

"oh my ,yes I will ,when are you available"

This horrible grammar and inability to text a proper sentence should have been a clue. Shoot me.

So he's coming over at 8. It's 7:45, and I started to freak out, panic. I texted you, which was stupid. I knew you were busy working.

Nothing a couple of super-fast drinks won't cure, right? Also kind of stupid, but oh well. Thank you, Bacardi – I love coconuts.

So he's here; I open the door and become the most awkward person I have ever met. We went and sat on the couch. I actually thought about sitting on the other couch but realized that was kind of not the point. He needs to fuck me…I have to get my shit together. But he's not you. He was pretty, pleasant to look at, but then he started to talk. Very sweet, but not a shining star. Brains turn me on. I actually had to make a list of the good things about him.

He smelled good.

He has an arm sleeve, which is pretty sexy.

He had a really great Nixon watch.

He was wearing a belt that matched his shoes, and the shoes were pretty nice.

STOP TALKING. Dude, please. Just stop talking.

I looked at him and tilted my head to the side, and I may have seemed very exasperated, and I think he actually caught it – he kissed me.

I love kissing. LOVE IT.

He was the worst kisser ever. It was just so awful, and his facial hair was really sharp. And he was so noisy. Ugh. Gross.

So I slid off the couch and kneeled in front of him. I am feeling better now. I've regained my control.

I undid his belt and pulled him up so I could take off his jeans. When I was undoing his belt, I could feel that he was already hard. When I took off his pants, he was rock hard.

I stroked him over top of his boxers, I ran my hands up and down his chest while I was looking up at him, and hooked my thumbs into the waistband to pull his boxers down his legs. His Fat Dick sprung out like a jack-in-the-box. Maybe I should call his Fat Dick, Jack.

I ran my tongue from the base of his dick to the tip and circled my tongue there a couple of times.

I was on my knees, looking up, and he was watching everything I did to him.

He fucked my mouth, standing up for a long time. After a while, I pushed him down on the couch so I could tease his cock some more. He loved it. He had to stop himself from cumming. I could hear you saying, Good Girl. He stood up, and I took off my underwear. He pulled up my dress and bent me over so he could see my ass and bury his face in it. Which he loved. He slapped my pussy with his cock a few times and shoved himself inside me without touching me. Hard and fast. It hurt – I was biting the couch to keep quiet. I had to move from where I was; there was no way to put my ass in the air. I turned, and once he had full access, he was faster, and the thrusts were harder. I was utterly disconnected from myself. You were the only thing I could think of. I wanted to hear you say Good Girl, but you didn't yet - and I came before I even knew I was going to. He turned me over onto the edge of the couch and kept going – I was really wet at this point. I didn't open my eyes. I just thought about cumming for you, and I came – hard.

He turned me over again, and after a couple of thrusts, he came on my ass. I was kind of disappointed that he only looked at my tits. I would like to note that I was having an excellent boob day, and they were paid zero attention. Fucker.

Then I had to listen to him talk again. For like 30 minutes. Agony. I guess I can't complain....he was good to go after 30 minutes – kind of impressive.

This time he was behind me the whole time and even more aggressive. You wanted me to get pounded – I was. Pounded until it hurt – I'm not sure where the line is between pleasure and pain, but I was on both sides, and it happened so fast I couldn't cum. It was fast, and it felt crazy and dirty. My pussy was exhausted, sore, and swollen; you'd be so proud.

I want to be the girl with the most cake.

talk soon

- S xx